Fog of Life: May 2006

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Ambien - the sleep inhibitor

My doctor decided to prescribe Ambien last week to help me get to sleep, but not be groggy the next morning. As it's supposed to be fast acting, I took one about 30 minutes before bed Sunday night. Rather than falling into a restful sleep, a wave of pain seized my skull that is just now beginning to relent. In addition to the vice-grip on my head, I experienced a heightened sense of smell with intense nausea. I don't know if the nausea came from my dog like smell senses, or the racking head ache, but any one of the three symtoms sucked alone. As I write this I feel the headache creeping back and my stomach flopping like a beached perch.

From now on I will be prescribing my own sleep aid. Liquor.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Parable

When a tree is young, it's branches are flexible, green, and can bend to an amazing degree without breaking. The young tree is able to adapt to changes forced upon it, grow around them.

After many years, the tree may have scars from pruning and weather. It may also have it's own ecosystem, birds, insects, and even smaller plants growing on and in it. Many, many things have that have grown to depend on this strong, mature tree.

There are times then when the mature tree comes under stress. Sometimes from disease. Other times the the elements inflict damage to it's limbs, roots, leaves; the very things that provide sustinance to the trees life.

And then there are times were those who depend on this tree, the ecosystem, assault the tree from all sides, making it's root system weak and it's limbs brittle. And even though those plants and insects and birds depend on the tree for their own sustenance, they smother it, slowly choking the life out of it. No longer can it's branches bend and with much less force, it's branches break and eventually it becomes uprooted and dies.

Brace the sapling keeping it upright, but not so much as to make it dependent on support. Take care to prune the tree as it's dormant, to encourage new growth. Cleanse harmfull insects from it to prevent rot. Be mindful for disease, as evidenced in it's leaves. Frighten away harmful birds, whom would otherwise cause damage. Do these things, and your tree will grow a deep root system; provide shade; support a healthy ecosystem, and live a long life.

Who is the tree in your family? Are you mindful to their health and needs? If not, you may be jeapordizing their ecosystem and yourself in the process.

Who I am

Warm sunsets

Clear skies

Walking through the forest, looking at and listening to God's glory

Watching my kids doing things, anything, except play on the computer

Smiling at a friend or stranger

Giving an encouraging word

Giving compliments

Receiving compliments

Helping those who need help

Solving a problem for someone

Holding hands

Making love

Hanging out at the bar with friends

Visiting family

Watching or playing basketball,baseball,football,golf

Fishing

Boating

Eating fine food and drinking good wine

Going to the races.... dogs, horses, cars, anything

Hugs

Fairness

Honesty

Integrity

God

Jesus

Mountains

Oceans

Beaches

Flowers

Dogs (really any animal)

Beautiful women

Waking up happy

*******************************************************************8

Mean people

Selfishness

Pompous people

Cheaters

Liars

Public speaking on subjects I don't know

Arguments

Conflict

Fist-fights

Any kind of abuse

Poverty

Disease

Polititians

Lethargy

Zero-tollerance

Elitists

Arrogance

Going to bed mad

Waking up to yelling

Drugs (illegal types)

Puking

Hangovers

Being sick

Knee surgery

Fords

Masterpiece - PhotoFriday

Pasture Sunset
Originally uploaded by ddurbin123.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

What's your perspective?

One of the things we learned in basic philosophy is self-centric perspective. Meaning, no matter how hard you try, you always see, interpret, process things from your own unique point of view. This thought blew me away when I was but a wee college freshman. Imagine, my interpretation of blue may be different than your interpretation of blue, but since we were conditioned to recognize a specific light wave refraction as blue, we both identify that refraction as blue. But what if your blue is my red? Bizarre I know, but deal with it.

How does this concept effect our lives? Perception is everything and perception is reality. And we are stuck with the fact that we perceive those around us from our own unique point of view. Have you ever wondered why something is so easy for you to comprehend, that it should make perfect common sense, yet someone else you thought you knew is totally oblivious to something you think is standing out like a pink elephant?

One man's garbage is another man's treasure? Coke or Pepsi? Fish or Beef?

So self centric perception is probably deeper than taste in food or decor.

What I think I'm really getting at is how self-centric perception effects our relationships. Brains in this regard are wired differently from person to person.

How can married people, living much of their lives together not understand each others moods, feellings, likes, dislikes? How does this happen? In so many instances couples live together for years never truely understandng their partners. Their perceptions of how their spouses feel, think and behave is their own. Not their partners. Seems to make sense, but think about it. My perception of how you feel, and who you are is uniquely mine. Only through you communicating with me specifically about how you feel and who you are, can I modify this perception based upon your perception of the same thing. And because I'm again perceiving your interpretation, this communication may not be interpreted how you intended it to be. So you may (probably likely) need to re-communicate your point of view several times in several different manners to have any true impact on moving my perception towards yours.

If you're married, or in a relationship, what are you doing to improve your perception of your partner? What are you doing to help them better understand who you are, what you like, don't like? Don't assume that their perception is how you'd like it to be. It's theirs, and theirs alone, and the only way for you to impact it is to share yours.

Yeah, listen to me. Self-appointed relationship expert. What a crock. But what I tell you here is true, regardless of how well, or poorly I've applied it myself. Deal with it.

Lifetime

What's your earliest childhood memory? Can you remember how old you were? For me, those memories cannot be associated with an age, so I don't know which of them came before the others.

I remember drive-in movies with my parents and drinking from a sippy cup, so I must have been really young, perhaps 2 or 3. I remember a very attractive blond woman with a turquoise miniskirt. No idea how old I was - also very little - perhaps 2 or 3.

I have many memorys from age 4 on though. Not sure why. Perhaps it has something to do with starting school.

What do you remember of elementary school, jr high, high school and college? Something fondly and not-so-fondly.

Elementary school:
Good:
2nd grade:Having a crush on my teacher Ms. Anderson.
3rd grade: Having a crush on Jo Ann Dean and another girl, red head, can't remember her name. My friend Chris Kean.

Bad:
3rd/4th grade: Randy Best. Always got into fights with him.
Norman (and his psycho family) from across the street and the wierd shit that went on over there.

Jr. High:
Good:
Sports: Basketball, baseball, track. And music: started playing drums in orchestra. Went to the Northwest Iowa honors vocal something or other.

Bad:
Learning how life works in small town Iowa and learning that I wasn't in the "in" crowd.
Being 6'3" in 6th grade made me a prime target for everyone to prove how tough they were.
Listening to my parents scream at each other from bed at night.
Feeling like nobody would ever love me.

High School:
good:
Sports, orchestra, friends, girlfriends
- almost making the state basketball tournament. making the all-iowa team (3rd string :-P)
- canoing down the maple river with my girlfriend
- fishing with my buds
- drinking with my buds

bad:
- not having any money
- having crap cars ($100 junkers)
- dad telling me too much information about his sex life

College:
good:
- my instructors becoming my mentors, the head of the math dept. i still talk to
- the nuns and father john - what inspirational and supporting people they were
- fishing and walking with my wife and kids near gavins point dam in south dakota

bad:
- having to work 3 jobs, raise 2 kids, be married and go to school
- having to quit basketball and baseball to work

I'm rambling, but I don't care.

Immigration Rights

OK, let's get one thing established first. I support LEGAL immigration to the United States. Diversity of cultures, ideas, peoples are some of the great things about our country. What I don't support is a relationship that begins with cheating and breaking the law, which is exactly what happens when someone enters the country illegally, accepts wages for work, and neglects to contribute to the tax base. I realize there are exceptions, but I'm talking about the basics here. There is a process for applying for entry, a visa and maintaining legal status. It may take a while, perhaps years, but even that is less restrictive and arduous than those who might endeavor to immigrate to many other countries. And frankly, most other countries are more strict in their immigration laws than we (the U.S.) are.

I've heard arguments like:
.
- the immigrants work jobs that US citizens won't work.
Really? Or do employers exploit the fact the immigrants will work for lower wages and fewer benefits? I'm not convinced. Besides, there are ways to increase the quotas for visas based on labor force demand. Legal methods that ensure that those who pay and are paid follow the same rules that our OWN CITIZENS and COMPANIES must follow.

- If employers had to pay US citizens and provide benefits, products would cost more.
Maybe. But that's the little picture view. What's the cost of providing public services, education, social services, and if they have their way, benefits for those that either don't pay taxes, or spoof the tax system by living multiple familes per residence?

- No human is an illegal alien
Pass the socialist koolaid. This mentality has a great track record, no? F'ing idiots.

- If you like strawberries, thank an immigrant.
Thanks immigrant. Now apply for a visa and fill out a tax form and come back when you're allowed to.

And the employers of illegal immigrants are guilty as well. It irked me to no end to hear that companies had to shut down yesterday due to absenteeism. This is not analogous to civil rights. These people are not US citizens as were women during sufferage, or the blacks after emancipation or during the civil rights movements. If a company had to shut down yesterday, they should be under scrutiny, if not by it's own shareholders and board, by the INS.

I'm also irked by compromising our language. I do not support mandatory bi-lingual government funded facilities. This is a misuse of valuable resources. I would, however, support language and literacy education funded by the government. There are some things, such as language, currency, laws, government structure, checks and balances, that bind us together. Expending resources to divide our AMERICAN culture is not productive. Prior immigrants took pride in becoming AMERICAN, not coercing America to become foreign.

So as part of my silent counter-protest, I went out last night and spent $$$ like an idiot. I'll be damned if I'm going to be coerced into providing for people who cheated to get where they are. We have to do enough of that already.

Oh yeah, before you jump my shit, I've looked through HR4437. As with any bill or resolution, it's way verbose and complicated and off the mark in places. The spirit of the bill should be in controlling entry to the US. I'd need to study it more carefully to see if it aligns with that spirit, but frankly, I don't have the time nor inclination to do so.

Cheers