what will I do for the next 37 years?

Lawton, IA and Sioux Falls, SD

Lawton, Iowa

At the age of three or four we moved to Lawton, Iowa, which at that time seemed to consist of a couple of houses in the middle of nowhere. I started Kindergarten at the ripe old age of four in Lawton. Unlike the regiment of reading and writing of Kindergarten today, Kindergarten then consisted mainly of bus rides, playtime, and naps on mats we’d lay out on the floor.

There was an empty lot or lots across the street from our house too, which seemed like a haunted forest to me at the time. Like most little brothers, I was enamored with my older brother, Mike, and wanted to go everywhere he did. On one such occasion I attempted to follow him and his friends into the treed lot across the street. They apparently thought this was a bad idea and proceeded to pelt me with whatever munitions they could find at their feet. One of these missiles, a stick, hit me in the eye (I can’t remember which one) resulting in a loss of sight in that eye. The next thing I recall is being bedridden with patches over both eyes.

I also remember something about a tall balcony, from which I feared I’d stumble over and plummet to my death.

My Dad bought me a horse here too. Charlie Brown was purchased at auction and was tied to a tree in our back yard. I don’t actually ever remember riding him, and I suspect we only had him for a few days or weeks.

I really don’t know how long we lived in Lawton. It seems like it was only a few months, which corresponds to my memories of our next move.

Sioux Falls – Part I

My clearest, earliest memories are from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We lived in a stucco house with shag carpet, orange I think. It was the seventies after all.

I finished my Kindergarten year here. The walk to school took us past a large area with a tall chain link fence and a dime store. The reason I remember the dime store is that it is the first place I shop lifted. I suppose all kids shop lift at some point, but I distinctly remember the embarrassment of being caught stealing candy. My parents were big into the spanking thing, so I’m sure this has something to do with remembering this.

I don’t remember school at all. It must have sucked really bad or been uneventful. I do remember getting chicken pox though. Both my little brother and I got them at the same time. We’d lay butt naked on the floor covered in Calamine lotion trying not to move, an action which would make the itching even worse. The neighborhood kids would run and ride their bikes by the house making chicken sounds and yelling crap at us.

Mom bought me a new pair of orange, canvas sneakers. I was so proud of them that I ran around the neighborhood asking people to see how much faster I could run. I think I actually learned how to tie shoes with these too. Ok, maybe I learned a little late, but I got to it eventually.

There was a broken down barbeque pit in our back yard then. The neighborhood kids and I would pretend it was a hippie van. I don’t know what this means, I just remember all of us cramming into the pit, with me in the “drivers seat” with the rest of the kids going nuts behind me. We were Kindergartners after all, with no idea what a hippie really was.

I also remember swinging a chain from my swing set and accidentally letting go of it. It flew through the air with incredible velocity, right through the glass of our basement window. Incredibly, my mom was out the door, belt in hand, chasing me around the back yard like a Cheetah hunting a Thomson gazelle. This wasn’t your ordinary belt. It was the seventies, remember? It was one of these wide, white belts with gold metal holes throughout the length of it. I don’t remember the beating, but I do remember the chase.

Omaha

When I was three or four, we moved to Omaha, Nebraska. My guess is that this coincides with my Dad’s vacuum business going bankrupt, although I’m not sure of it. I do have memories of Omaha, but they’re sketchy at best. My little brother was born in Omaha. The only thing I remember of this is a pink cake, which is strange, considering he is my little brother, not sister.

I don’t know what my Dad did for a living then. I suppose this is when he began selling life insurance. Memories from this time include the following.

• There was an elderly couple living next door. They had Dachshund puppies.
• I had some John Deere tractor toys. Some neighborhood kids stole them.
• I think I had a little red peddle car.
• My brother, Mike, smacked me for doing something stupid and I fell backward, hitting my head on a window sill requiring stitches. I’m sure this did wonders to his relationship with my mom, his step-mother.
• I had a brilliant idea to climb a metal shelf, thereby becoming stuck and decided to hang from one of the shelves which resulted in nearly severing my fingers from my hands.

Once again, my mother was extremely ill after the birth of my brother. I don’t remember this, but my grandmother came to live with us. Perhaps this is when I lived with my Aunt? One of these day’s I’ll get this cleared up.

The beginning…

I was born in Loveland, Colorado 39 years and 4 months ago, the first son of Ed and Judy, but not the family’s only child. My father’s oldest son, Mike, was 7 at the time and living with them. How this came to be is an interesting story, but one that I’ll go into later.

Loveland was settled in 1858, but founded in 1877 when the Colorado Central Railroad laid a line through what is now downtown Loveland. It sits seven miles from the base of the Rocky Mountains along the Big Thompson River. My grandfather moved the family from Waukegan, Illinois to Colorado in the 50’s to pursue a pastoral life. This appears to be an unusual move as up to this time my grandfather and his brothers all lived together, he being the only one of the brothers to marry. Prior to Waukegan, my family had lived in southern Missouri, having moved there from central Illinois around 1860. For as far as I can trace back, the clan had lived with or in proximity to their near relatives. To simply pick up and move away from the clan was a bold move, for which the motives I doubt I’ll never be fully aware of.

I’m told that my mom was quite ill for the first few years of my life, and that I had spent some time living with my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Woody who lived nearby; a fact I wasn’t aware of until recent years. Understandably, I have no recollection of it as it’s said that children don’t remember anything before the age of three. I’m no exception to that rule. Further, I have no idea why I lived with them and not my Dad and brother.

At some point, we moved to Denver. During this time my dad was a salesman of canister vacuums. My only recollection of this time is of a drive in theater and drinking from a baby blue sippy cup shaped like a bear. A strange memory, but I didn’t choose it. My hyjinx began at an early age by all reports too.

I’m told that at age 2 or 3 I caused a couple of automobile accidents, both involving my dad’s Cadillac’s. In one incident, I was in the back seat and decided it would be a good idea to cover both my father’s eyes with my hands. Since he was apparently driving at the time, a game of peek-a-boo turned out to be not such a good thing and ultimately resulted in a rear-end collision, with us being the rear-end of the collision. The second was due to me crawling into the driver’s seat of the parked Cadillac and pulling it out of gear. I’m told that my ride traveled backwards down our drive way and into the side of a parked Volkswagen across the street.

In a non-vehicular incident, I apparently decided to walk, or fall, into Lake Loveland on one of my parent’s fishing trips, a feat that my 2^nd son would re-enact for me about 20 years later. My parents and grandparents we avid fishers and hunters, so I imagine that me tripping into some body of water was just a matter of time.

I’m told that I liked to disown my diaper and streak whenever possible. I had beautiful long hair that caused some gender confusion of those who gazed upon me. My grandfather could hold me in the palm of his hand.

I have no memories of my paternal grandfather, as he died when I was only one year old. My folks tell me he loved me very much, and for that I’m thankful.

It's wall to wall Iraqi election coverage

I suppose I shouldn't be suprised by it. The war itself has been the lead story most nights for the last couple of years. It's interesting that there are something like 26,000 Iraqis in this country elegible to vote. Although I think I know, I wonder who's paying for that service? I wonder if Iraqis in Iraq will listen to the threats of the insurgents? I have no doubt that there will be alot of bloodshed Sunday as people make their ways to the polls. I also found interesting comments made by a current Iraqi official; the Minister of somethingorother; warning Iran to stop interfering in Iraq's political process.

I'm saddenned by the continuous loss of life in Iraq.

I wish there was a football game on Sunday to break up what I suspect will be my viewing of wall to wall Iraqi election coverage.

Technology break...

One of the better corporate network security products to hit the market is from Vericept. Their system provides intelligent content filtering and analysis of corporate Internet traffic. It filters and captures data that matches pre-defined patterns that would indicate undesired behavior by its users. The tools can be used to transparently detect violations of a companies acceptable use policy for the Internet. This could include dissemination of corporate financial information and intellectual property as well as downloading porn, pirated software, unauthorized chat, instant messaging, FTP's, and bulletin board posting.

A number of our customers have expressed interest in this product as a result of compliance issues driven by GLBA, Sarbanes Oxley and HIPPA.

One of the first steps in evaluating Vericept is an exposure assessment in which we install a system pre-loaded with the Vericept software and capture data for a specific period of time. Unlike any other product we've handled, the Vericept tools practically sell themselves. Companies are literally shocked at the results of the exposure assessments.

Many companies are now legally required to protect customer and partner data. Vericept provides a mechanism to detect security breeches in a much more manageable fashion that previous tools. And a side benefit is that companies now have a reliable way to detect Internet abuse by their employees thus avoiding embarassing and potentially costly consequences.

Johnny Carson: 1925-2005

The best late night talkshow host ever died this morning. We've missed him since he retired and we pray for his family now. Rest in peace Johnny.

Weak stomachs and weak minds will be the downfall of our country

Reviewing the various reviews of the President's inaugural address one would think that Pat Robertson and Joseph Stalin's love child had been sworn in. Some of the whining is coming from surprising places too.

Conservative former Reagan speech writer Peggy Noonan's WSJ editorial, titled "Way too much God", proclaimed that the President had basically lost his grip with reality. She feels that proclaiming our freedom is dependent on removing tyranny from the world is a utopian concept only to be found in heaven. "The world is not heaven" she proclaims.

I like Peggy Noonan. She's always impressed me with her level headed, even handed, and classy approach. Her reaction surpised the hell out of me.

I thought Pat Buchanan was going to blow a gasket on MSNBC last night too. Unfortunately, the Scarborough transcript isn't available online yet. From what I recall amongst the traditional yelling on the show, Buchanan basically called the 9/11 attack our fault, thereby absolving the Islamic murders of any guilt. And oh yeh, the same program pronounced that the President is the head of the neo-con movement whereby all freedoms are granted by the government. All of this derived from a short speech of course. And the cherry on top was that fountain of wisdom, Janeane Garofalo (what a piece of work).

Before judging the President's speech so harshly, it would serve us well to review some past inaugural addresses and do some comparisons.

Firstly, Bush's speech yesterday mentioned God 3 times. So did Kennedy's 1961 address. As did Johnson's 1965 address. Nixon had the nerve to mention God 6 times in 1969 and 4 times in 1973. Carter, supposedly the most pious of past presidents, mentioned God only once but he did quote the Bible (Micah 6:8). In 1981 Reagan mentioned God 5 times, and in 1985 a whopping 8 times. George HW Bush; 3 times, but included a prayer. Clinton in 1993; twice. In 1997 twice. George W Bush in 2001 3 and this week; 3 times.

So what about the notion that we/he put the world on notice? Well, we did have a bit of a problem on 9/11/2001 with threats of additional attacks. But how does the President's address yesterday compare to prior addresses in terms of addressing tyranny throughout the world?

In 1997, President Clinton only mentioned the fight against terror once:

"We will stand mighty for peace and freedom, and maintain a strong defense against terror and destruction. Our children will sleep free from the threat of nuclear, chemical or biological weapons. Ports and airports, farms and factories will thrive with trade and innovation and ideas. And the world’s greatest democracy will lead a whole world of democracies."

An interesting comment in retrospect. A half dozen terrorist attacks happened on Clintons watch. And after emense pressure from the US and Saudi Arabia, when the Sudanese expelled Usama Bin Laden, we refused to bring him to justice. The administration sat by while dozens of UN resolutions admonished the Saddam Hussein for not complying to his surrender agreement, and yet ineffectively lobbed bombs on Iraq because of it in 1998.

President Clinton's 1993 address was even softer around the edges:

"

While America rebuilds at home, we will not shrink from the challenges, nor fail to seize the opportunities, of this new world. Together with our friends and allies, we will work to shape change, lest it engulf us.	34
When our vital interests are challenged, or the will and conscience of the international community is defied, we will act—with peaceful diplomacy when ever possible, with force when necessary. The brave Americans serving our nation today in the Persian Gulf, in Somalia, and wherever else they stand are testament to our resolve.	35
But our greatest strength is the power of our ideas, which are still new in many lands. Across the world, we see them embraced—and we rejoice. Our hopes, our hearts, our hands, are with those on every continent who are building democracy and freedom. Their cause is America's cause."

George HW Bush said this;

"We know what works: Freedom works. We know what's right: Freedom is right. We know how to secure a more just and prosperous life for man on Earth: through free markets, free speech, free elections, and the exercise of free will unhampered by the state."

"We will stay strong to protect the peace. The "offered hand" is a reluctant fist; but once made, strong, and can be used with great effect."

And, oh my God! Reagan asked for Peace on Earth! Unfortunately, his administration's focus was so squarely on defeating Communism that it ignorantly fostered the growth of Islamic fundamentalism as the real force we're reckoning with today.

"Today, we utter no prayer more fervently than the ancient prayer for peace on Earth."

"There is only one way safely and legitimately to reduce the cost of national security, and that is to reduce the need for it."

"

We strive for peace and security, heartened by the changes all around us. Since the turn of the century, the number of democracies in the world has grown fourfold. Human freedom is on the march, and nowhere more so than our own hemisphere. Freedom is one of the deepest and noblest aspirations of the human spirit. People, worldwide, hunger for the right of self-determination, for those inalienable rights that make for human dignity and progress.	35
America must remain freedom's staunchest friend, for freedom is our best ally.	36
And it is the world's only hope, to conquer poverty and preserve peace. Every blow we inflict against poverty will be a blow against its dark allies of oppression and war. Every victory for human freedom will be a victory for world peace."

Sound familiar?

He said similar things in 1981;

"

To those neighbors and allies who share our freedom, we will strengthen our historic ties and assure them of our support and firm commitment. We will match loyalty with loyalty. We will strive for mutually beneficial relations. We will not use our friendship to impose on their sovereignty, for our own sovereignty is not for sale.	26
As for the enemies of freedom, those who are potential adversaries, they will be reminded that peace is the highest aspiration of the American people. We will negotiate for it, sacrifice for it; we will not surrender for it—now or ever.	27
Our forbearance should never be misunderstood. Our reluctance for conflict should not be misjudged as a failure of will. When action is required to preserve our national security, we will act. We will maintain sufficient strength to prevail if need be, knowing that if we do so we have the best chance of never having to use that strength"

Carter's 1977 address. Now this was a utopian vision. One which would probably resonate well with the Democratic Party voters today.

"

Our Nation can be strong abroad only if it is strong at home. And we know that the best way to enhance freedom in other lands is to demonstrate here that our democratic system is worthy of emulation.	15
To be true to ourselves, we must be true to others. We will not behave in foreign places so as to violate our rules and standards here at home, for we know that the trust which our Nation earns is essential to our strength."

We saw how well this ideal worked. The Iranian revolution , 52 American hostages and subsequent rise of a the current radical, suppressive Islamic regiem. Let us not forget that under the Carter administration, Russia invaded Afganistan, and the US began funding the training of Islamic fundamentalists.

"We do not seek to intimidate, but it is clear that a world which others can dominate with impunity would be inhospitable to decency and a threat to the well-being of all people."

It's the same message over and over.

Nixon said in 1973:

"

Unless we in America work to preserve the peace, there will be no peace.	8
Unless we in America work to preserve freedom, there will be no freedom."

Keep in mind that Nixon was trying to get us out of the debacle in Viet Nam. His foreign policy message had to be one of "live and let live", so it was. But his feelings are undeniable.

" Let us be proud that in each of the four wars in which we have been engaged in this century, including the one we are now bringing to an end, we have fought not for our selfish advantage, but to help others resist aggression."

So, lastly John F Kennedy pronounced in 1961, after WWII, Korea and a growing problem in Southeast Asia:

" Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty."

" To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves, for whatever period is required—not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich."

"To our sister republics south of our border, we offer a special pledge—to convert our good words into good deeds—in a new alliance for progress—to assist free men and free governments in casting off the chains of poverty. But this peaceful revolution of hope cannot become the prey of hostile powers. Let all our neighbors know that we shall join with them to oppose aggression or subversion anywhere in the Americas. And let every other power know that this Hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own house."

(He failed miserably)

" We dare not tempt them with weakness. For only when our arms are sufficient beyond doubt can we be certain beyond doubt that they will never be employed."

The same message again and again. For America to be safe; for American to be secure freedom must spread throughout the world. This message, sometimes weak, other times not, has been consistent.

Perhaps what has the critics worried is that we have an administration that actually believes in these concepts enough to do something about them.

Kennedy pledged support to keep the western hemisphere free from Communism yet botched his chance to defeat it and let it become a clear and present threat! Not only that, he half-heartedly supported the efforts to fight back Communism in Viet Nam. This half assed effort directly lead to over 10 years of futility and more than 50 thousand dead Americans.

Reagan's vision of freedom, but more importantly, actions to preserve and promote freedom defeated the greatest threat to our peace in the 20th century.

Carter, George HW Bush, and Clinton talked the talk, but did little when the opportunity was the greatest to avoid today's threat.

The President's vision is right. Free and prosperous people will have a stake in peace; a desire for life.

Kennedy's proclamation that we'd pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, and oppose any foe to ensure the survival and success of liberty was the same damn message! The difference today, is that perhaps we have an administration that means what it says. Let's hope, for our future's sake, that it does.

All this said, I'm afraid that the fundamental conflict is a religious one. Fundamentalist Islam hates Jews and Christianity. The killing has been going on for hundreds of years (not yet thousands, but close) for one reason or another. I don't know that democracies alone will yield the results we require, but it's more of a step forward than doing nothing. We've witnessed what the "do nothing" policies yield. And while I haven't yet subscribed to the Ann Coulter, kill-their-leaders-and-convert-them-to-Christianity philosophy yet, the leaders of the Islamic world must accept the responsibility to stomp out the violence being committed in their religion's name. This absolutely will not happen when violent, radical Muslims are tyranically ruling vast hoards of Muslim people. People need to have the freedom to choose peace and work for prosperity. If they choose violence, they should do it at their own peril.

What's up with depression?

I did a bit of blog surfing tonight. There are a lot of depressed people at the ole blogspot, especially girls/women, although I stumbled across a few depressed young men too. So I'm wondering; is this historically typical? Are there more depressed people today than in years past? Is this a product of the media, drug manufacturers and doctors? It does seem that this phenomenon is indiscriminate too. People with money and possessions have it. People with nothing to their names have it. I wonder too if this is something that is cultural? Are there many depressed people in the Sudan? Iraq? Switzerland?

What did people do 50, 100, 300 years ago about depression? Life had to be much more effort, if not more difficult then. Did someone kick em in the ass and tell them to get on with it? Did they become drunks and drifters or just trudge along? We, in the industrialized world at least, certainly have more time to contemplate the pros and cons of life than our predecessors and those in undeveloped countries.... or maybe not?

Certainly depression seems to be tied to identity, or lack thereof. These folks aren't happy with their current situations, be it work, family, looks, activities, boyfriend, girlfriend... ok, everything. Yet they don't know how to change anything or feel powerless to do so. Why is this? Has it always been this way? Has it gotten worse?

I wonder; are busy people less likely to be depressed than idle people? It does seem true that lonely people are more prone to be depressed. Are they lonely because they're depressed, or depressed because they're lonely?

I do believe that idle hand are the devils tools. I believe that comfort can be found amongst others, be it friends or strangers. I think that the sense of community, at least in much of America, is less than it was in the past. Traditional institutions that fostered this sense have changed. Our schools, churches, families, home towns are all very different today. The invasion of television (all 80 channels), video games, and the Internet have radically affected our society (God I sound like an old curmudgeon). I believe that the changing roles in society of men and women have us befuddled at times.

I think that people are under a tremendous amount of pressure. How much of this is self generated? I also think that some people are energized by helping others, while some people can only be moved when being helped.

Do people not reach out because they think they will be taken advantage of? Will they be? Do people who reach out to others really just want to take advantage of people?

It makes me think of the movie City Slickers, when Curly told Mitch (Billy Crystal) that the rest of the stuff in life means nothing if you know the "one thing" that is the meaning of life. When Mitch asks what that "one thing" is, Curly tells him that it's something he has to figure out for himself. (Severely paraphrased of course)

I think a lot of us are looking for that "one thing". For me, I'm happiest when I'm in the service of others. It sounds corny and creepy, but it's true. It's probably why I drifted to consulting so early in my career and why I've been doing it for so long. Helping others feels good to me. I don't know if that's my "one thing" or not. There are times when I feel like something's missing. But I'm saddest when I'm alone, so I try not to be.

So, what to do with all the depressed people? Hmmm....

I guess I'll keep reaching out. I'm pretty sure that most people that post their problems really don't want to hear some creepy stranger spout words of encouragement, but on the other hand, it's kind of like street beggars. Most of my contributions won't help, but maybe there's one that will. Maybe one day, one will reach back when I need it. In the meantime there's always Paxil.

Today's randomness...

So, in preparation of the Jacksonville excursion I had a golf lesson at Golftec today. I do like that your lesson is captured on video and you can review it later o the web. What you think you're doing and what you are actually doing are sometimes amazingly different.

I started a new audio book today; Rumphole. I don't remember the title. It's taking a little while to warm up to it, and with the heavy English accent, it's sometimes difficult to understand. I've watched a number of the TV shows, which I found fairly entertaining.

The project load is starting to lighten a bit at work, giving me the opportunity to catch up on some administrivia. I have a new engineer starting tommorow, so I've been trying to get prepared for that. One of our challenges this year is to get our Wisconsin business ramped up. Part of the difficulty currently is fulfilling engineering work when all but one of our engineers live in Illinois. None of them particularly enjoy extended stays away from home, and none of them live close enough to commute. Further complicating matters is the fact that there's been no consistency in sales to date, so I haven't been comfortable bringing on Wisconsin resources in fear that they'd sit idle. So, what I think we're going to do is hire our first dedicated pre-sales resource to help our sales people generate some business. It's a bit of a double edged sword in the sense that we'll need engineering resources to fulfill jobs that get sold, but we won't be as effective selling these jobs without this person. We're also going to explore the possibility of acquiring a small company that already has a presence there.... In any event, it will be interesting.

I was glad to see that Condolisa Rice was confirmed as Secretary of State today. I continue to be disappointed with the partisanism displayed by our Senators and Congressmen. In continue to wonder why or how people like Barbara Boxer, Joe Biden, Ted Kennedy, and Nancy Pelosi get elected term after term. On the other hand, I was squarely against Barak Obama in last year's election, but I found his questioning logical and reasonable for the most part (at least what I saw of it). I still disagree with most of his positions and have qualms regarding his populist morality.

I am wondering about the President's wisdom of taking on Social Security has his first big initiative. I would think he'd be more successful addressing the easier issues first, such as tax reform, completing medicare reform, funding no child left behind, border control, welfare reform, etc. before tackling something as divisive and risky as Social Security.

I'm eager to see how the elections go in Iraq too. No doubt there will be widespread violence, but I'm optimistic that the people of Iraq will make this happen as the Afgani's did.

I'm not convinced that things in Palestine are going to get better. I have an uneasy feeling that somehow Lebanon, Syria, and Iran are going to destabilize this year. I still believe that Iraqi officials and/or weapons were spirited away into these countries prior to our invasion of Iraq. I also believe that Russia, and perhaps France were instrumental in helping Iraq move these items. There were a number of reports before and during the initial stages of the war about Russian agents in Iraq, providing technologies and weapons, and possibly moving materials into Syria.

The exercise regiment is going pretty well. It's nice to have the change of pace with the elliptical from the stationary bike. I'm hoping to start lifting weights again next week. I've been pretty good about eating lately too.

My wife is going to see her mother next week, who is apparently struggling mightily with her chemotherapy. I haven't seen her since she really got sick last year. I fear that I won't see them or my parents before they die, and it really bothers me. It's always hard, when my wife leaves, to manage work and the kids. It's not bad if I can take time off from work, but it's virtually impossible to work and be home at the same time. I want her to see her mom, so I'll manage.

I'm thinking my son will be leaving Sri Lanka soon to go support the elections in Iraq. I pray that he, and everyone else will make it through this time safely.

Should there be a national MLK day?

At the risk of being lambasted as a racist, I ask the question; Should there be a national day commemorating Dr. Martin Luther King?

First, let me begin by stating that what Dr. King did what historically significant. It's almost as sad that our congress needs to pass legislation providing equal rights to minorities as it is that congress refuses to pass legislation protecting the rights of the unborn.

Official national "holidays" include:

• New Years Day
• Martin Luther King Day
• President's Day
• Memorial Day
  
• Independance Day
• Labor Day
• Columbus Day
• Veterans Day
• Thanksgiving Day
• Christmas Day
  

Only MLK Day, President's Day, and Columbus Day commemorate actual people. Columbus Day and President's Day are mostly forgotten. Further, President's Day now falls in the middle of "Black History Month" and isn't to honor Lincoln and Washington, but all past presidents. Columbus was never an American, and I'd guess that none of our founding fathers decended from him either. Christmas has obviously lost it's meaning to many, as I received no end to cards labelled "Happy Holidays" this year.

So, in the entire history of our country, MLK is the only individual worthy of namely recognition at this level? I believe this is a stretch of the imagination and an appeasement of the vocal black and liberal minority. MLK's own vision was that his children live in a nation where they would be judged by the content of their character, not by the color of their skin. I just wonder, by singling MLK out in this manner; by instituting "black history month" along with quotas and "equal opportunity" regulations, are we giving these children the opportunities to be equally evaluated, or are we continuing to enflame racisms while highlighting our differences? In granting this national day of recognition, was Dr. Martin Luther King judged by the content of his character, or by the color of his skin?

Rock n roll, I'm going to the Super Bowl

I'm feeling quite a bit better today, now that I've probably distributed this "crud" which has by now, undoubtedly, been spread like a cheezy pyramid scheme.

I read some article that said the military had discussed a "horny" bomb that would carry an aphrodesiac making enemy troops unresistable to each other. They also allegedly tossed around the idea of a "who me?" bomb, which would emit fart odors. It's true! In documents released in the Freedom of Information Act, the US Airforce Wright Laboratory discussed various of chemical agents intended to harrass, annoy or identify the bad guys. It's a must read and funny as hell. I mean, we now have "bunker busters" . What would these be called. Weapons of Mass Seduction? Stink Bombs? Could they be shot from a Love Gun?

ANYWAY, I'm going to the Super Bowl! My company won this through one of our partners for being one of the top companies in sales last year. It's 5 days and 4 nights at a snazzy resort, a private dinner with Boomer Esiason, and leisure activities, whatever the hell those are, and of course, tickets to Super Bowl XXXIX. I felt (and maybe still do) feel a little guilty about going. First, I always feel guilty about going on trips and leaving the family home. Second, we're really busy at work, and I'll be taking 3 days off. Third, a lot of people worked hard last year and it doesn't seem fair for 2 of us to reap this kind of reward. However, the tickets were offered to two other people before I accepted one. Neither could or wanted to go. I almost said no, but how many chances will I have to go, no less go for free.

What is today?

I always feel that way when I stay home sick. Actually, I haven't stayed home sick in years. But I lose track of time. Somehow laying around the house must trick my mind into thinking it's a weekend.

We received a call from our Marine tonight. His ship is off the coast of Sri Lanka currently. Since his job is to load and land helicopters, he's been extremely busy the last week. He sounded in good spirits and reported only seeing a dead monkey, elephant and lots of junk floating in the water. So much for the reports of no animals dying from the tsunami.

He reported that they spent hours sorting through the MRE's (Meal Ready to Eat) removing all those with pork contents. Strangly, he also said that the Marines were eating food from the local area. I didn't ask why it was that they had to send their MRE's onshore, yet eat the local food. Anyway, he said so far it tastes bad.

My daughter stayed home today too, except I think her excuse was to take a "mental health" day, as nothing seemed to be physically wrong. She really seems to be struggling with the transition to middle school. I think one of the biggest issues is that school starts an hour earlier now, but I could be wrong. Twelve year old girls are complex. Hell, girls of any age are a complex. And since she's the only one we have out of four children, she breaks new ground for us each day.

I watched alot of news today. Depending on where you're at in California, you're either burried under 20 feet of snow or the most rain since what, 1918? So now the landslides are making news again in So Cal. God forbid they get a significant earthquake now. There's also flooding in Utah, Indiana, and Ohio. They're also saying that flooding is likely in the Chicago area over the next few days. Other things in the news, albeit much less intersting, was Bush's nomination of Chertoff as Director of Homeland Security (which seems like a big compromise) and the ongoing violence in Iraq.

An interesting story is the upcoming showdown between an iceberg and a glacier off antartica's coast. The article says the crash could be so big it might be seen from space. So now I'm wondering that if this collision has the potential to cause another tsunami. It's felt that either large chunks of ice may break into the sea, or the "tongue" of the glacier will shear off. Either way, it would seem that there would be a large displacement of water. It's probably me just watching too much TV.

I hate being sick.

I haven't been sick for some time, but I have something now. After my software upgrades Saturday morning, I started feeling achy and feverish. I spent most of Saturday and Sunday in bed or in the chair, sleeping or trying to sleep. I had a meeting this morning that I bowed out of. The last thing I need is to infect our entire sales force. I am thinking about doing some work this afternoon, as I'm totally dosed up on day-quill and some allergy medicine. I'm still a bit achy and congested, but I'm thinking I can function as long as I don't sneeze, breath-on or otherwise touch anyone.

We haven't heard from my oldest son, who's in the Marines, since he left a 10 second voice mail around Christmas. From what I can tell, he's at Sri Lanka now providing support for the relief efforts. The news is saying that the Sri Lankan government is wary of allowing Marines to come ashore, so it sounds like nothing more than cargo movement will be happenning for now. It's probably better this way. Some other parents on marinemoms.com have said that their kids have reported seeing bodies floating near the ships and that the smells are overwhelming.

I'm glad he gets to help, but it bothers me that the efforts are politicized on both sides, mostly the Asian side. Here we are wanting to provide monitary, food and other relief as well as "hands-on" help, and they are concerned that we'll be viewed as an invading force. Good God. I also heard that part of the reason for not wanting western adoptions of Indonesian children is that they don't want them growing up as infidels. There is just something troubling that our money is good, but we are not? I find it hard to believe that the average Indonesian or Sri Lankan feels this way about us.

The videos of the Tsunami are amazing. Especially the latest one from Indonesia. I haven't been able find it online, otherwise I'd post the link. It's amazing that anyone survived.

I'm convinced that cable TV and the Internet are evil. Well, they make a nice scapegoat anyway. I thought I was being a nice guy by putting tv's and computers in the kids rooms, but they just are able to handle them responsibly. I have a residential gateway with access controls and access schedules, but they seem to find ways around them. I've also configured the "V-chips" on the TVs, and that works, but the TVs are always on. The kids will stay on the computers as long as you let them, and that's all they will do. Plus, they'll get up in the middle of the night to play, which makes it extremely difficult to get them up and ready for school. SO, I've put ROM passwords on them. It was a total mistake to put the tv's and computers in their rooms.

My car went over 100,000 miles Friday, which means it's not under warranty anymore. So now, it's just a matter of time before the transmission falls out the bottom I suppose. I need new tires too.

It's snowing like a sonofabitch in California. It reminds me of the stories of snow which stranded the Donner party near Truckee, CA. Hopefully nobody will resort to eating eachother in this storm.

It's flooding like crazy in LA, and in Ohio. The meteorologists said that due to the convergance of three major storm systems over the US, we'd see some crazy weather. So far, they've been right.

Well, time for some soup, and then off to work.

Another hump day in blah-land

Had to get into work early today, as I was meeting some customers to test some software upgrades. Hired another engineer (yahoo!). Struggle mightily to get my CD/RW to work. Somethings messed up with the bios/driver or it's just old and broken. Tested another software upgrade. Prepared for tomorrow's big day of software upgrades.

It had been snowing all day, and there was about 4-5 inches on the car at 4pm. The drive home was suprisingly easy, until about 5 miles from home, when the roads became really bad. An 18-wheeler slightly jack knifed in front of me, which cause me to brake and skid. Fortunately nothing happened.

I finished another book, Hour Game by David Baldacci. This might be the best murder/mystery/action novel I've ever read (or listened to, anyway). Badacci completely develops his characters, the plot is interesting and complex. If you enjoy James Patterson, you should love Hour Game. Baldacci beautifully describes scenarios and action to chilling and thrilling detail without diving to the level of morbidity that Patterson sometimes does. Anyway, I give Hour Game 5 out of 5 bookmarks.

When I arrived home, I was treated to pork chops, boiled potatoes and asparagus. A gastronomic delight. And happily, I was able to get an hour on the bike before doing some more preparation for tomorrow.

It's now almost 2am and still snowing. It should be an interesting commute.

Oh yeah, 11 more days to elliptical goodness ;-)

2 week until new exercise gear arrives

I always get excited about new exercise equipment. I decided to go with the Precor EFX 5.23 elliptical trainer. I originally wanted a machine with the arm attachments, but after talking to people about it and considering the options, I went with the model that has the adjustable ramp angle. It's a feature the competitors don't have. They (SportsArt and Life Fitness) were telling me that the ramp puts the joints at unnatural angles, but after considering this and my experience with them in hotel workout rooms, I disagree. I believe you actually can workout different muscle groups with the varied angles. As for arm motion, I can swing my arms to get the motion if needed. It's also a little more than I wanted to spend, but it comes with a 10 year warranty (the competitors have 3 year parts coverage), I got a great discount, and I've found if you buy the best, you have fewer problems (usually) and it lasts longer.

Whoopie! 14 more days until elliptical goodness

Fitness day 2

60 minutes on the bike. 20 minutes walking the dog. Small dish of mongolian beef. Ham Sandwich. Dill pickle. Not too bad for day 2.

My elliptical search is down to a decision between a Precor 5.33 and an Octane 35e. Anyone with experience with either, please chime in.

Unbelievable: reports of rape by tsunami survivors

This is unbelievable. Some children and women survived the tsunami to face rape and abuse.

US Aid Followup

In a briefing on 12/27, the US State Department announced that just 1 day after the tsunami, monies had been released, negotiations were underway with relief organizations, embassies were working with local officials and the military had been deployed to provide support. Clearly, American officials had been working on assessment and coordination from the start. Could US officials have been more proactive and communicative? Probably.

The Japanese ministry of Foreign Affairs announced on 12/26, the day of the disaster, that medical and financial support were being dispatched.

This article, posted in the UK, calls out President Bush for not speaking out sooner in support of the victims. Fair enough. He probably should have said something on the 26th. I'm just not convinced that Bush speaking out against the evils of tsunami's as the water is receeding back into the ocean would win the hearts and minds of a "hostile world". Nobody seems to be calling out the Germans for their $26 million or France's $57 million contributions. I guess speaking out early is going to make a world of difference to those poor schmucks digging their families out of the mud, if they can find them. I guess they'll take solice that Germany and France are putting a moritorium on national debt when they're trying to rebuild their homes and businesses.

The largest contributions to date are

- Japan: $500 million
- United States: $350 million
- World Bank: $250 million (The United States and Japan fund most of the World Bank)

And these numbers don't include private and corporate monies. No other government has pledge more than $100mm.

The hostile world seems to have already made up it's mind.

2005 is a good chance to get back into it...

Well, I was able to get back on the exercise routine today. 45 minutes on the stationary bike and 20 minutes lifting light weights. I'm thinking of getting an elliptical. Need to do some research first. Precor is the top of the line, but there seem to be alot of lower cost options before getting into the junk.

World Entitlement Program

OK. I've officially heard, seen or read one too many articles about the tsnunami relief effort being botched.

Let me preface everything else by saying that what has happened in Asia is obviously the most historic natural human tragedy of our time. Hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people in that region were already living in squaller, oppression and conflict before the tsunami. So many with little to begin with, now are gone(dead), or have nothing.

As of today, the International contributions for relief are about $2 Billion. Japan alone has pledged $500 million, followed by the US at $350 million. This amount doesn't include the costs associated with diverting our Navy and Marine units to support relief efforts. So, one might naturally wonder who's receiving and managing the use of this money. Since the $2B figure was reported by the United Nations, I can only assume that the UN is managing this effort. Pretty scarey, right? Given the UN's track record, I'd guess that alot of that money will wind up lining UN and local government officials pockets. And guess what. The United States will get blamed for everything bad that happens in the aftermath of the relief effort.

Based upon numerous reports of aid still not getting to people in need you have to wonder how committed to helping their own citizens some of these governments are. I've even heard stories of people hoarding the food and supplies being distributed and selling it to those that need it at outrageous prices. The fact is, these governments weren't interested in these people before the tsunami either. Here's some background information.

Sri Lanka (Buddist) is slightly larger than West Virginia, but has nearly 20 million residents. Of these, over 4 million live in poverty. 34% of Sri Lanka's exports are sold in the US. Imports from the US to Sri Lanka aren't even large enough to be listed. India 16.1%, Hong Kong 8.4%, Singapore 7.8%, Japan 6.7%, China 4.9%, South Korea 4.2%, Taiwan 4.2%, UK 4.1%, Malaysia 4%.

Malaysia (Muslim/Buddist) is a little larger than New Mexico and has over 23 million inhabitants. With only 8% of it's citizens living in poverty and a GDP of over $200B, you would have expected the Malaysian government to respond vigorously to help their people independently. Not suprisingly, the US is Malaysia's largest export partner. However Japan is the leading import partner, closely followed by the US (Japan 17.3%, US 15.5%).

Indonesia (Muslim) is huge in size compared to other countries in the area, being about 3 times the size of Texas. It's actually a chain of islands, or archipelago between the Indian and Pacific Oceans. 283 million people are crammed into this country, almost a third of which are living in poverty. With a population nearly matching the United States, Indonesia has a GDP of less than one tenth that of the United States. It's also one of, if not the largest Muslim populations on the planet. Which also means that Indonesia is a hotbed of terrorist activity, corruption, human rights abuse and other elicit activities. Japan is the leading export and import partner for Indonesia. The US doesn't export enough here to even make the list.

Thailand (Buddist) is about twice the size of Wyoming with roughly 64 million people. The CIA actually extrapolates the mortality rate due to AIDS in calculating Thailands polulation, for what it's worth. Only 10% of Thailand's population live in poverty. Thailand's largest import partner is Japan (24%) followed by the US (9%) and China (8%). Export partners are the US (17%) and Japan (14%).

Burma (Buddist) is about the size of Texas, has 42 million people, 25% of which live in poverty. 100% live under an oppressive military regime, which of course explains why China is the #1 import partner for Burma and Thailand is the leading export partner. Even with the corrupt and oppressive regime, the US is the 2nd leading importer of Burmese goods, but once again, can't export enough to Burma to be listed.

Somalia (Muslim). Remember Black Hawk Down? This peice of crap country is about the size of Texas and nobody really knows it's population, but it's guessed at about 9 million. Like alot of Africa, this country is in a civil war and has no formal government to help anyone.

I'm not going to downplay the significance of Japan's contributions in regards to foreign aid. In fact, Japan has been one of the leading contributors over the years. It needs to be said that foreign aid, especially outside of natural emergencies, is a political tool. Did you notice that most of the countries that will be receiving the tsunami aid are also the leading import partners for Japan?

The US has virtualy no economic motivation in this region to justify a $350 million contribution. It's a fact too that the American people are actually more generous than our government. Globalissues.org reports that Americans give over 3x what our government gives each year (which we already pay duh). Our poverty rate is about 12%. It's more than some of the countries that will be getting this aid.

And yet, whenever tragedies occur, the US is called upon to help. Whenever people are oppressed, the US is called upon to help. Yet we are dispised and the UN is exaulted.

It's pure bullshit. Where are the UN's success stories? Korea? Viet Nam? Croatia? Somalia? Where are other countries when we need them? Apparently, they are looking for a hand-out.

We will continue to give, in spite of the criticism and the hatred. Americans are generous people inspite of the recipient. The United States IS a Christian nation. Most of us are tought to be charitable and forgiving.

You watch. America and Americans will give to this cause like no other. In the end, somehow we will still be the "bad guy".

Happy New Year

My phone rang at 8am this morning. One of my kids father's was looking for his kid and wanted to know if he was at our house. And while it's not unusual for this particular 19 year old to stay at our place, sometimes for days, he wasn't here this morning. After I relayed this fact to his dad and hung up the phone, I wondered why I don't ever tell his dad what I really want to say. Which is to quit treating his kid like a child. Anyway...

We spent the night at home. One of the neighbors had invited us to their NYE party, but neither of us felt like being patronized, so we stayed home and watched the South Park marathon. I actually did feel like partying, but I also wanted to be with my wife, so I didn't push things. I cracked open the home-made wine that my friend had given us, and Oh My God... that stuff is potent. I drank about half the bottle myself, played a little Hitman and NFS Underground II and hit the sack.

I'm never been into new years resolutions. My wife has laid these out for herself:

- Spend more time training her horse
- Make breakfast for the kids
- I can't remember the 3rd one

So I started to wonder; Are new years resolutions supposed to be statements about changing personal behaviour or can they include goals and objectives? I did a google search for "new years resolutions blog" which returned 473,000 hits. So my first resolution was to not read other peoples new years resolutions.

As I began to write this, the Fox News Channel had some talking head psycotherapist on to discuss how people can change their behaviours for the new year. After about 2 minutes of this ass munch, I decided that my second resolution would be to watch less of the Fox News Channel.

I do have some goals that I want to focus more on. These include:

- Stop smoking (of course)
- Lose weight ( why not get the default resolutions out of the way)
- visit my relatives
- Start doing some of the things that I used to love, but gave up when I got married (21 years ago), like playing the drums and guitar, playing sports (maybe join a softball or baseball league) and singing (church?)
- get involved in at least one organization, like the school board, or library board
- go fishing more
- start delegating more at work (ie. offload more of my responsibilities to my staff)
- buy some real estate. Maybe some land in Colorado.

I think that's a good start. It should be interesting to see which ones get done.

I know there are a few of you that lurk on this page regularly. Let me know what you've resolved to do this year.