Christmas Eve 2004

Once again, I've proven that dreading Christmas doesn't keep it from happening. It's Christmas Eve 2004. Years ago, my wife and I would travel from where ever we happened to be living at the time to Iowa to spend Christmas Eve, Christmas and sometimes the entire week after until New Years with our families. Well, usually her family. Christmas Eve was always spent with her paternal grandmother. All of the aunts, uncles, cousins and their children would be there. The aunts would cook 2-3 main dishes and dozens of side dishes. and deserts. The adolescents would spirit themselves away to a corner of the basement to play. The women would congregate in or near the kitchen. The older men would sit in the family room chatting, each with a glass of their favorite libation. The older boys and young men would gather around the TV watching anything that could pass for entertainment.

After eating too much, the children would distribute presents, where they would be openned, starting with the youngest, one at a time to the oldest. These of course were all from or to Grandma J. I could always count on gloves. Other gifts I recall include a brandy glass and snifter set, and a painting done on Mt Saint Helens ash.

During those years, we usually had one or more small children of our own that kept me busy keeping them out of the tree and others gifts.

Promptly at 11:45, many of us would wrap things up and head to the church for midnight mass. Of course, December 24 in Iowa the temperature is usually hovering near zero degrees. This combined with bundling small children made the trip to church a little unpleasant.

After mass, we'd head back to my wife's parents house, put the children to bed, and perform our Clausian duties.

Christmas morning would begin with a raiding of the overfilled stockings. Like the gloves, I could always count on devouring an entire box of chocolate covered bing cherries left in the stocking by the would-be chubby home invader. Once everyone was up, the children would again distribute presents. This time, gifts would be from or to my wife's parents, and to or from my wife's siblings and our children.

For the first several years we were married, this is where I received the vast majority of my clothing needs. Her parents were, and still are, very generous and thoughtfull and I've grown to love them very much.

After the morning round of present openning, we'd get bundled up and drive to her other grandparents home. There we'd go through the same exercise as the night before. The women cooking like crazy, the men loafing in front of the TV and the kids trying to entertain themselves. And for the third time in 24 hours, we'd distribute gifts and open them from youngest to oldest.

And if that weren't enough, we'd usually schedule some time to see my parents and my bother and his family. And while the event was much more modest in comparison to the others, I cherrished the time with them all the same.

Over the years, both of my wife's grandfathers have passed away, as has her twin sister. One grandmother is in a nursing home and afflicted with Alzheimers. All four of our parents are suffering from health maledies ranging from cancer to God knows what.All of our related familes have grown and begun to distribute across the country. The grand get togethers are difficult, if not impossible. The last time we went "home", ie. back to Iowa, for Christmas was 3 or 4 years ago. It wasn't the same, although it was very nice to see the family. Unforgettably, I received a call Christmas night from my Dad saying that my mother was being rushed to the emergency room. Not to get distracted from the main story, she had fainted and we still don't really know what happened.

We used to go to my brother's house and exchange gifts, but over the years our relationship has failed and we rarely get together for anything anymore.

So here I am. It's Christmas Eve 2004. My oldest son is somewhere near Hawaii with the Marines. The rest of us are basically sitting around, passing the time. All three of the kids at home are on the Internet. The youngest two consumed with runescape. My wife is spazzing out, wrapping last minute gifts and fretting about not having enough decorations up or not being ready for dinner tommorow.

Truthfully, we DO have alot of decorations up. I don't know about dinner tommorow, but I'm suggesting to her not to make such a big deal about it that all she does is slave in the kitchen all day. I'd feel better if she simply took it easy. But I'm not going to win this argument, as I never win an argument with her and it's probably better this way.

We've wanted to establish our own traditions. It seems so hard though. And it doesn't help that our family is full of hermits. They'd much rather hide in their rooms than sit around the fireplace watching movies or talking.

We should go to midnight mass, but we probably won't. We do have stockings, hanging on the mantle even. I'm guessing they'll even be stuffed with many trinkets including chocolate covered bing cherries.

If not for my 11 year old son, there might not be any enthusiasm Christmas morning. He'll be harping for everyone to get out of bed so we can distribute the presents and open them, youngest to oldest.

I do look forward to the day when our little family grows up. I look forward to people hovering around the family room and kitchen, eating too much, distributing gifts, and openning them... youngest to oldest.