People like to waste time part II

I've been reflecting on my post titled "Human Kind has No Limit...", mostly about whether I'm truly interested in my family or not. In that entry I mentioned that I received an email from a lost cousin after sending my Grandfather's WWI draft registration to my Dad. Since then, I've received several emails from that cousin, as well as an Aunt I haven't heard from in years.

So after considerable thought, and consideration for how those emails made me feel, I believe I am truly interested in my family. I also believe that if I had the means I would be travelling the country to see them, as the means I lack is time.

Most of my life, even growing up, I've lived separated from the core of my family. On both sides, it was always at least a 6 hour drive or more to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We'd usually make one or 2 of these trips each year when I was young, and less frequently as I grew older.

Interestingly, I've followed the same trend with my children. It seems as our kids get older, their jobs or school schedules interfere with lengthy travel plans or maybe more pertenant, as we had more kids, travelling became more difficult.

My wife reminds me when I begin feeling guilty about not making time to visit that visitation is a two way street, and that the family is welcome to come to us as much as we are to them. I suppose she's right in terms of cousins and brothers, but as for parents and grandparents, their time for travel has mostly passed due to health reasons. But now that I think about this, I'm always hearing about my folks making trips to see my mothers parents, so I suppose if they really wanted to come see us, they would. I also hear about my little brother making trips to see my older brother and not stopping by to see us, and I live 30 minutes from my older brother.

I guess that makes me mad. I try to see my older brother every few weeks. It's usually me that initiates the contact. So, my family will go out of their way to see other family, but it has never seemed to work that way for me.

Perhaps I'm suffering from the same symptom I often counsel others about: missing something or someone that never existing nor ever will exist.

I want to have a relationship with my family where they're coming to see me and I'm travelling to see them, but no. It's not going to happen. At least not with my side. My wife's side of the family is much different in this respect and closer to the ideal.

I hope that I can create an environment and attitude with my kids that makes them want to come home and visit when they have families.