Saturday, December 17, 2005

Charging


Charging
Originally uploaded by ddurbin123.
yeh - so I'm the worst Dad ever. I had just served the kids some green beans before they were going to bed (it's wierd, but that's what they wanted) and they were being silly and one of them said "homo", or at least I thought they said homo.... Instead of just ignoring it, or telling them not to say it, I started walking around the kitchen with a limp wrist and a queer gait. They both seemed to be laughing at this, but then my 12 year old boy left the kitchen and hid under the desk in the den. I thought he was still laughing, but instead he was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said that I was scaring him. I asked why and said that I was just being silly and he replied that if I act like one maybe I am one.

Well, I pulled him out from under the desk and tried to re-assure him that I was just goofing off and he told me to go "jack off".

I was offended by this so I yelled at him to go to bed and literally threw the bowls containing the beans into the sink, and of course one broke, which sent both kids into a fit.

My 13 year old daughter started cussing me out, saying "what the hell?" and "what the f'ing hell" and mom came downstairs demanding what's going on.

I went to the garage and had a cigarette. I came back in and cleaned up the sink and told mom what happened. She huffed, when to the bathroom for a cigarette and then went straight back upstairs.

About 5 minutes later, by son came back downstairs and said he was sorry. I said I was sorry too, and that I was only playing and that it was wrong and that I wouldn't do it again. I told him that I loved him and asked him if anyone had ever threatened him or touched him in a bad way. He denied it and asked why I broke the dishes. I said that I was angry and frustrated and was sorry for scaring him.

And so now, it's our 22nd anniversary today. My wife is pissed at me again and in bed. I scared the shit out of my son. My daughter thinks I'm a bigger freak than ever. My 19 year old isn't home yet , per usual. And I haven't spoken to my 21 year old son, except for one occasion, since February.

I was feeling pretty good about having bought my wife a nice Citizen watch for her anniversary gift, and having watched a nice basketball game, but now.... well... I can't stand myself.

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